It continues to be an interesting ride with emotions always up and down. The house which we maintained so lovingly the first few days, has rather been on it's own since Meltdown as we adjust to the reality of surgery and upcoming Chemo. I did get the floors swept, a bed changed, kitchen cleaned and Gavin walked before Tess, Gavin and I headed out to get stamps and gauze.
Then, on the spur of the moment we headed off to check out Costco. Much of the food people have brought to us has been from there and Tess and Jamie are considering a membership. Sometimes the volitility of emotions means you take advantage of whatever sounds fun and you go. Tess had no wallet, purse, etc. with her :), we had no diapers for Gavin, did we turn off the coffeepot at the house?. But off we went. Well, one thing led to another. We had lunch at Panera, we called Jamie to join us, then checked out Playland and played cars on the floor with Gavin until poopy diapers reminded us it was time to head home.
Oh-oh. Car wouldn't start. Funny noise coming from the back hatch door which obviously had run the battery down. Tess heads to Panera to ask who might have a pair of jumper cables in their car. No one. I try to call Tom to have him find my other purse in my clothes closet that has the AAA card in it. Wellll, you can imagine how that conversation went. The purse with the squiggles on it?? No, the red one with the blue handles. The soft one? No, the Coach one. Coach???? What color is that?
Tess had better luck. Not at Panera. She bombed out there but headed across the street to IHop where she saw a 40-yr. old African American lady pulling up. "Do you have jumper cables?"
"I sure do, sweetie. Do you need a jump?"
"Yes. My mother has my toddler who has poopy pants and the battery is dead and no one at Panera had cables"
"Let's talk about this for a minute. None of those white people at Panera are going to help you. Just have faith and we will get you going. So how has the rest of your month been?"
"Not so good. I just found out I have cancer."
"Well, honey. I'm a cancer survivor and you just keep the faith and you will be too. I'm Anita, and you just watch. Now about this car. Pretty soon you'll see my husband come running out of IHop with his hands in the air, saying "What are you doing, woman?" He thinks I can't jump a car, but I can."
Which he did exclaiming, "What are you women doing in this heat messing with cars?" He chased the women out of his way and got the car running. I still had not showed up, being around the corner trying to steer Tom to the right purse in the right closet corner.
"Do you want me to go find your son and mother?"
"No, no. She can't leave without me and I can't leave the car. She'll show up."
I did. Then on the way home, lights twinkled, little stressful ones like brake and battery. But we got home, had tea and to heck with cars, jumper cables and poopy diapers.
Just have faith.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Retail Therapy
Wednesday, May 30th.
The Day after Meltdown we all woke up feeling rinsed clean. Gavin got the kids up...Grammy slept right through his first morning cooings. Then after Jamie got off to work, I headed to this computer and Google was so cooperative in helping me set up this blog. At 9:45 I was still in my jams at the computer when Tess yelled, Retail Therapy Time!! So in 15 minutes we were out the door to Great Northern Mall where Gavin frolicked in the playground and Tess found cute pj's & sweats at Victoria Secret. Even I found some decent T's at Christopher & Banks that weren't so tight they flattened my bosum or so long they reached my knees. What are these designers thinking of these days????
Fun Food Fest at the Food Court........Mickey D's for Gavin, Taco Bell for Mom and Chinese for Grammy. Jamie picked up Tess for the visit with Dr. Barnett and Gavin and I came on home.
As mentioned before, the visit went well. Dr. Barnett was cheering his work and telling Tess how happy she was going to be with it, while Tess was wailing as the bandages were removed and she hated having missing parts, at the same time she was making them laugh as she warned them about rancid and musty armpits. Mary, the doctor's nurse told her she really must have a very good guardian angel because the hope from this visit is that there will be no radiation and possibly reduced chemo. Hooray!
Before Tess even got home, Michelle, the oncologist's nurse called to discuss the visit. She also praised Tess's angels and prayer support group. "Really, Tess, I honestly believe if you had come in a month later this would not be a happy story. It could well have metastacized by then. You are so protected to have gotten here early."
Thank you everyone for those prayers, candles and positive thoughts sent our way.
The Day after Meltdown we all woke up feeling rinsed clean. Gavin got the kids up...Grammy slept right through his first morning cooings. Then after Jamie got off to work, I headed to this computer and Google was so cooperative in helping me set up this blog. At 9:45 I was still in my jams at the computer when Tess yelled, Retail Therapy Time!! So in 15 minutes we were out the door to Great Northern Mall where Gavin frolicked in the playground and Tess found cute pj's & sweats at Victoria Secret. Even I found some decent T's at Christopher & Banks that weren't so tight they flattened my bosum or so long they reached my knees. What are these designers thinking of these days????
Fun Food Fest at the Food Court........Mickey D's for Gavin, Taco Bell for Mom and Chinese for Grammy. Jamie picked up Tess for the visit with Dr. Barnett and Gavin and I came on home.
As mentioned before, the visit went well. Dr. Barnett was cheering his work and telling Tess how happy she was going to be with it, while Tess was wailing as the bandages were removed and she hated having missing parts, at the same time she was making them laugh as she warned them about rancid and musty armpits. Mary, the doctor's nurse told her she really must have a very good guardian angel because the hope from this visit is that there will be no radiation and possibly reduced chemo. Hooray!
Before Tess even got home, Michelle, the oncologist's nurse called to discuss the visit. She also praised Tess's angels and prayer support group. "Really, Tess, I honestly believe if you had come in a month later this would not be a happy story. It could well have metastacized by then. You are so protected to have gotten here early."
Thank you everyone for those prayers, candles and positive thoughts sent our way.
Meltdown
Tuesday, May 29th was Meltdown Day. We all woke up with nightmares including Gavin, the baby. Jamie went back to work after the Memorial Holiday. At six in the morning he was down whaling the punchbag Team Tess got him for working out his issues and anger when the stress levels reached red level. I went out to fix the one oscillating sprinkler that wouldn't oscillate and couldn't find it. I was sure Jamie had thrown it away before I had a chance to fix or return it. Poor Jamie, totally innocent. But I had a crying fit over a sprinkler because I didn't want to think I was crying over Tess. Tom called and was moaning because he had only one pair of pants to wear because he has lost so much weight and he had an acre of flowers to water because I was at Tess's and it hadn't rained. Meantime, Jamie is worried about all the watering he has to do here. Alison was on vacation and when Beck wouldn't sleep and the crib broke down and they couldn't get a new one in the car, broke down into crying fits. Talk about displacement! All of us wailing over something tangible and beating it up because we can't beat on the cancer.
Tess is shouting Where is my team? Where is my Team? My whole Team has crumpled! I have no backup plan! No Team Two in training! You guys have to get your shit together...Now! We haven't even started chemo and reconstruction. Enough. Don't let this happen again! This is not acceptable!
Tess is shouting Where is my team? Where is my Team? My whole Team has crumpled! I have no backup plan! No Team Two in training! You guys have to get your shit together...Now! We haven't even started chemo and reconstruction. Enough. Don't let this happen again! This is not acceptable!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Hello
Hello everyone. Today is May 30th and we are a month into our fight with the Big C. Today we have the checkup with the surgeon for the first time. Her mastectomy and lymph node removal was last Tuesday. The pathology came back TOTALLY CLEAR so that was fantastic news. Thanks everyone for your prayers and positive thoughts...I'm sure that has sent those cancer cells running.
Just to give you a chrono line of what has happened so far:
April 15th, Sunday....with Alison who had found a breast lump and urged Tess to check. She did and found a lump.
April 20th, Friday....her doctor who sent her for a diagnostic mammogram.
April 24th, Tuesday...Diagnostic mammogram where they scheduled her for a sonogram.
April 26th, Thursday...Breast Sonogram where they were very solicitious and she burst into tears but still was unaware.
May 2, Wednesday...Meeting with surgeon at Cleveland Clinic to try to aspirate the "cyst." Only able to get a few cells but those were benign. Nonetheless, the surgeon felt it was important to "get that thing out of you as soon as possible." A good thing too. We have read many stories of false negatives that grew to be very invasive cancers. But we were still blissful at this stage.
May 7th, Monday...Biopsy. Surgeon still felt it was benign.
May 8th, Tuesday...CC called with the results. Big turn of events. Invasive Intraductal Carcinoma. Not one of your easier cancers to deal with.
May 14th, Monday...Meeting with the surgeon. Very sweet but not encouraging. Dealing with an aggressive cancer that would require extensive treatment. Tumor was 3.5 centimeters with unclear margins. Subtle recommendation for full mastectomy with lumph node incisement. Suggested with meet with oncologist before surgery.
May 17th, Thursday...Meeting with the oncologist. Black Day.
Black. He prepared us for spread of the cancer because of it's type and the fact that it had reached both the lymph system and the blood system.
May 18th, Friday...PET scan, CAT scan and bloodwork.
May 19th, Saturday...Plastic surgeon called surgeon to discuss type of surgery so that reconstruction options would be as varied as possible. Meantime, results of tests came back and we were cheering in the grandstands at cancer in only one lymph node. Can you believe?
May 22nd, Tuesday...Surgery.
May 23rd, Wednesday...Home already and doing very well. Drains dragging and high on drugs.
May 25th, Friday...Lab results. Lymph node was a FALSE POSITIVE!!! CANCER HAS NOT SPREAD THAT WAY!!!
Also clear margins so no spread to the chest wall. Way good. Thanks again for those prayers and thoughts!!! Keep those candles burning and those rosaries glowing and dances around the fairy rings. This is an ecumenical group. We welcome all positive thoughts. (We have rosaries blessed from Majagorie(sp?), Lourdes and the Vatican!) Wow and double Wow.
So that brings you uptodate. What a roller coaster emotionally and physically. But do you see how long between events? Young women out there .............. do those breast checks!!!!
I have to go now but this will be the site where we keep all of you informed as to our progress. The next steps are chemo and reconstruction. Hopefully with the false positive on the lymph node we can skip radiation. Blessing to all. Love, Marlyn
Just to give you a chrono line of what has happened so far:
April 15th, Sunday....with Alison who had found a breast lump and urged Tess to check. She did and found a lump.
April 20th, Friday....her doctor who sent her for a diagnostic mammogram.
April 24th, Tuesday...Diagnostic mammogram where they scheduled her for a sonogram.
April 26th, Thursday...Breast Sonogram where they were very solicitious and she burst into tears but still was unaware.
May 2, Wednesday...Meeting with surgeon at Cleveland Clinic to try to aspirate the "cyst." Only able to get a few cells but those were benign. Nonetheless, the surgeon felt it was important to "get that thing out of you as soon as possible." A good thing too. We have read many stories of false negatives that grew to be very invasive cancers. But we were still blissful at this stage.
May 7th, Monday...Biopsy. Surgeon still felt it was benign.
May 8th, Tuesday...CC called with the results. Big turn of events. Invasive Intraductal Carcinoma. Not one of your easier cancers to deal with.
May 14th, Monday...Meeting with the surgeon. Very sweet but not encouraging. Dealing with an aggressive cancer that would require extensive treatment. Tumor was 3.5 centimeters with unclear margins. Subtle recommendation for full mastectomy with lumph node incisement. Suggested with meet with oncologist before surgery.
May 17th, Thursday...Meeting with the oncologist. Black Day.
Black. He prepared us for spread of the cancer because of it's type and the fact that it had reached both the lymph system and the blood system.
May 18th, Friday...PET scan, CAT scan and bloodwork.
May 19th, Saturday...Plastic surgeon called surgeon to discuss type of surgery so that reconstruction options would be as varied as possible. Meantime, results of tests came back and we were cheering in the grandstands at cancer in only one lymph node. Can you believe?
May 22nd, Tuesday...Surgery.
May 23rd, Wednesday...Home already and doing very well. Drains dragging and high on drugs.
May 25th, Friday...Lab results. Lymph node was a FALSE POSITIVE!!! CANCER HAS NOT SPREAD THAT WAY!!!
Also clear margins so no spread to the chest wall. Way good. Thanks again for those prayers and thoughts!!! Keep those candles burning and those rosaries glowing and dances around the fairy rings. This is an ecumenical group. We welcome all positive thoughts. (We have rosaries blessed from Majagorie(sp?), Lourdes and the Vatican!) Wow and double Wow.
So that brings you uptodate. What a roller coaster emotionally and physically. But do you see how long between events? Young women out there .............. do those breast checks!!!!
I have to go now but this will be the site where we keep all of you informed as to our progress. The next steps are chemo and reconstruction. Hopefully with the false positive on the lymph node we can skip radiation. Blessing to all. Love, Marlyn
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