Round Three Coming Up

So much to report.

July 24th was when I last posted. OK.

One Tit, No Hair, Fat on Steroids

This is where it’s at. Our attitudes are great because you choose happiness and life. We are fortunate to cross threshold after threshold, climb step after step, put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. Things you thought you couldn’t handle or deal with, well, you do. And just as you grow into taking care of more than one kid, you grow into this and the abnormal becomes normal and you know what? The laughter and the love doesn’t get checked at the door. They go right along with you and in the midst of this there is so much joy.

The moments hit. When the 8-year-old encountered at the drug store looks at Tess’s bandana-covered head and asks, “Do you have leukemia? Are you going to die?”

Tess bursts into tears (well, she was there for sleeping pills because the steroids kept her awake so coping skills were trashed) and then exclaims, “No! I’m going to live! And live a long time!” The 8-year-old’s mother came rushing up apologizing and hugging Tess.

When she offered to give some of her pregnancy clothes to a friend and then lost it as she was pulling them out and remembered that she and Jamie had hoped that their second child would be on the way this summer.

When she realized that their fifth wedding anniversary was going to be spent at the Barcolounger Bar getting chemo.

There’s no denying it is a tough road and a life-changing event that goes all the way down to your toes and shakes up your life, your life, not the person next door, your life, the one you had that was planned and going along the yellow brick road with the house, the two kids, the good job. That is what got shook up. Your friends are still on that road. What happened to yours? When did the yellow brick road turn into the sinking tar pit that pulled you in so inexorably, unrelentingly, absolutely? How can you possible be here?

You are.

Team Tess 2

Tess has fantastic support. I told you about the 3-Day Race in Chicago. There is also a Konen Race for the Cure in Cleveland in September. These participants are Tess’s high school buddies. A group that began in Day Care, grew with middle school and added their last numbers in high school. They bought her a freezer to hold all the casseroles that were anticipated and received. They bought Jamie a punching bag to pound when his emotions ran high. They sent cards, hats, scarves, flowers, cookies, and pajamas. When Tess protested that it was too much, they pleaded Retail Therapy was their way of coping. Tess has been a hub in this group of young women, and her illness has brought out new leaders, organizers, creators and connections. Wounds are always opening and closing, aren’t they? Dear God, it is such a circle.

Their website is
http://race.komenneohio.org/site/TR/Events/General?pg=team&fr_id=1020&team_id=8300
and if you are interested in helping them out, the directions are easy to follow.

Reconstruction

I told you about our last plastic surgeon and my problem getting past his shoes and blinding white smile. He was also pretty slow with the portfolio. In fact, we never did see it.

So, last Monday we went to see a second referral. Dr. Levy’s office called almost a month before the appointment to interview Tess and get all her records. This time, rather than spending most of our time with a young nurse, Dr. Levy himself gave us a full hour. His portfolio was in his hands.

He discussed all the options in depth. Tess leans toward a tram flap. That is taking the up and down abdominal muscle, pulling it up backwards and using it as the base and the main blood supply to build a new breast using skin from a tummy tuck procedure and fat from the belly. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds! That is what I had and Tess remembers! But the good things about it are that it is all you and if you gain or lose weight, so does the breast and it tends to feel and sag at the same rate as the other breast. Of course, you do have a bunch of numbness and weird twinges which, frankly, after a while you can’t remember what the other you was, so, so what?

There is far more to this and the other options than you want to read here, but one of the main issues at their stage of life is a future pregnancy. It is not entirely out of the question, but doing the tram flap with its’ tight tummy skin and missing muscle and pregnancy sounded to me a bit dicey.

What was so impressive about Dr. Levy was that he got very interested in the possibility. He called her at 8:00 the next morning to say he had been researching the subject and found a study of 8 women who had successfully gotten pregnant and delivered healthy babies after chemo and tram flap reconstructions. Hurray! A man passionate enough about his work to explore and learn and help. She’s in good hands.

Round Three

Tom is cooking for the freezer and I am packing the suitcase again. She gets the chemo tomorrow but Jamie will be with her, and Cindy, Jamie's mother, is watching Gavin. I'll arrive Saturday with the nausea, the bone aches, the headache and begin pushing the Benefibre, water, and drugs.

We'll be leaning on those everlasting arms and your prayers.
Thanks a bunch.