I have driven Tess bananas today staring at her cute head and face. What a beautiful woman she is. Her scalp was cold so she used a scarf most of the day and it actually is sort of sore with a bit of cradle cap. That got us to wondering if babies heads hurt that much when they have cradle cap. She tried to sleep this morning but could not. Bones are aching and she feels as bloated as a beached whale, but no nausea. Since I was here she took advantage of her baby sitter to get her wig styled. It gives her a cute Kristie Alley look. Afterwards she met Jamie for lunch at Panera and a lady there told her what great hair she had!
Gavin and I visited the library and got some books on tractors which I then had to read to him at least 583 times. I remember sitting on my grandma’s lap being read to and we were just about the same ages as Gavin and me.
I’m off for home tomorrow morning. Round Two is history.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Bald Heads
The day started a little slow and low. I had a hard time waking up, Tess was feeling crappy and Gavin wanted his breakfast. Tess went back to bed with the cats, Gavin and I were playing, doing laundry, cleaning up, and Hair was everywhere. On Gavin’s cookies, stuck in the clothes coming out of the dryer, every floor surface, every chair, every every!
In a bit of a funk, Tess left to get a cancer massage to work out the fluids from the steriods, the water, the chemicals. Gavin and I went to the playground. When she got back, she was in a much better mood and ready to get rid of the hair. So was I.
Jamie got home and set up shop. To show Tess what to expect, he shaved his own head! Right cute he looked too. Gavin is clapping his hands and I have the broom in hand. Then we start on Tess and take her down. She looked so darn cute! “Ball!” Gavin exclaimed looking at the back of her head. And she does have the perfect shaped head. And she had such gorgeous hair that you didn’t see her face so clearly. She has a perfect oval face with huge green eyes and rosebud lips. It is not fair that she should look so great bald.
Now they are threatening to shave my head in my sleep. I have neither the perfectly shaped domes those two sport nor the perfectly oval face, so my door is LOCKED!!
In a bit of a funk, Tess left to get a cancer massage to work out the fluids from the steriods, the water, the chemicals. Gavin and I went to the playground. When she got back, she was in a much better mood and ready to get rid of the hair. So was I.
Jamie got home and set up shop. To show Tess what to expect, he shaved his own head! Right cute he looked too. Gavin is clapping his hands and I have the broom in hand. Then we start on Tess and take her down. She looked so darn cute! “Ball!” Gavin exclaimed looking at the back of her head. And she does have the perfect shaped head. And she had such gorgeous hair that you didn’t see her face so clearly. She has a perfect oval face with huge green eyes and rosebud lips. It is not fair that she should look so great bald.
Now they are threatening to shave my head in my sleep. I have neither the perfectly shaped domes those two sport nor the perfectly oval face, so my door is LOCKED!!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Second Round
I remember living in Brazil the first time and thinking how scary it was to live with violence a step away, the murderous traffic and scorpions in the woodpile. Then the tornado in Xenia, Ohio, happened and my maids were horrified at how quickly a small town was practically wiped out.
“How can you bear to live in such a place?” they asked. “Why you could get killed any minute!”
This, just after the kids and I had passed a dead body on the street coming home from church, not a block away.
It is easier to deal with the fears we know. And so it is with chemo. Knowing what to expect and dealing with that is easier even as it gets a little harder. As Tess said, I’ll just plan to have the flu over the weekend! And that being decided, that is exactly where she is........having the flu. No drama, no fuss. That’s not to say that Jamie, Gavin and I weren’t totally flying straight when she got home. Jamie was cleaning cars down to the undercoat, Gavin was throwing fits, and I did have one quick burst of tears over nothing, but all that quickly passed and we were a functioning family by nightfall.
Only two more to go!!!
Details: Blood counts low, and some other numbers both high and low. Counteractions by the oncologist, good nutrition and good old steroids handling it all as expected. Hair still looks good but it is coming out slowly but surely. Jamie cut it to ear length and then Alison layered it. Looks cute.
“How can you bear to live in such a place?” they asked. “Why you could get killed any minute!”
This, just after the kids and I had passed a dead body on the street coming home from church, not a block away.
It is easier to deal with the fears we know. And so it is with chemo. Knowing what to expect and dealing with that is easier even as it gets a little harder. As Tess said, I’ll just plan to have the flu over the weekend! And that being decided, that is exactly where she is........having the flu. No drama, no fuss. That’s not to say that Jamie, Gavin and I weren’t totally flying straight when she got home. Jamie was cleaning cars down to the undercoat, Gavin was throwing fits, and I did have one quick burst of tears over nothing, but all that quickly passed and we were a functioning family by nightfall.
Only two more to go!!!
Details: Blood counts low, and some other numbers both high and low. Counteractions by the oncologist, good nutrition and good old steroids handling it all as expected. Hair still looks good but it is coming out slowly but surely. Jamie cut it to ear length and then Alison layered it. Looks cute.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Support 1
It's time to talk about some of the fantastic support Tess is getting. We'll start with
Meet Team Tess!
This is actually Team Tess II because the name has already been used by her High School Rallying Crowd, so we will refer to them as Team Tess I and talk about their efforts later.
This Team Tess is from her Aunt Robin's church. Aunt Robin is a Lutheran Pastor, married to my brother Bob, and this is what some young beauties at her church are doing:
"Bob's 33-year old niece Tess Reed is in her second round of chemo for breast cancer. The prognosis is good and we are all hopeful that this time next year it will all be past tense. Her husband is Jamie and 18-month old son is Gavin, whose picture is attached, sayin howdy!
The Chicago Breast Cancer 3-Day will begin with Opening Ceremonies at Schiller Woods in Schiller Park on August 10th at 6:30 am and conclude with Closing Ceremonies at Lincoln Park at Montrose Harbor, Grove 16 in Chicago on August 12th at 5:00 pm. the course covers 60 miles in 3 days of walking. Bob and I did this walk from Baltimore to WDC and Beth and I have done a shorter marathon version in Chicago. We hope some of the funds raised in these earlier walks helped improve the treatment Tess is getting now.
But this group of lovelies in the attached photo taken Sunday heard about Tess at church and asked to walk to honor her and in confidence for her full recovery. They are wearing the Pink Ladies shirts with Tess' name on the back. (See picture marked "backside.") On August 12 we will include them and Tess in special prayers in worship.
If you would like to support their efforts, go to www.the3day.org, click Donate, click Chicago, enter the name of the girl.
(To get the name of a girl, email me and I will send you one of the "names. Marlyn)
Meet Team Tess!
This is actually Team Tess II because the name has already been used by her High School Rallying Crowd, so we will refer to them as Team Tess I and talk about their efforts later.
This Team Tess is from her Aunt Robin's church. Aunt Robin is a Lutheran Pastor, married to my brother Bob, and this is what some young beauties at her church are doing:
"Bob's 33-year old niece Tess Reed is in her second round of chemo for breast cancer. The prognosis is good and we are all hopeful that this time next year it will all be past tense. Her husband is Jamie and 18-month old son is Gavin, whose picture is attached, sayin howdy!
The Chicago Breast Cancer 3-Day will begin with Opening Ceremonies at Schiller Woods in Schiller Park on August 10th at 6:30 am and conclude with Closing Ceremonies at Lincoln Park at Montrose Harbor, Grove 16 in Chicago on August 12th at 5:00 pm. the course covers 60 miles in 3 days of walking. Bob and I did this walk from Baltimore to WDC and Beth and I have done a shorter marathon version in Chicago. We hope some of the funds raised in these earlier walks helped improve the treatment Tess is getting now.
But this group of lovelies in the attached photo taken Sunday heard about Tess at church and asked to walk to honor her and in confidence for her full recovery. They are wearing the Pink Ladies shirts with Tess' name on the back. (See picture marked "backside.") On August 12 we will include them and Tess in special prayers in worship.
If you would like to support their efforts, go to www.the3day.org, click Donate, click Chicago, enter the name of the girl.
(To get the name of a girl, email me and I will send you one of the "names. Marlyn)
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Wig Shopping (R-Rated)
Hair is beginning to go, twenty strands here, twenty strands there. Mom wants her to get a French Cap cut and keep that gorgeous hair for a fall when it regrows and she wants a longer look. Daughter wants to hang onto it thru Thursday night when she has a dinner get-together with Medina friends. Chemo is Friday and she won’t want to go to the hair dresser’s on Saturday so.............I’m losing that game.
With baldness on the western front, she and Jamie visited the wig shop. He was a good choice. When the white cap was put on her head to hold the wig securely, they both burst out laughing calling her Penis Head. Then they got a little wild with the new look. Jamie could be both honest and adventurous with the hair and she wound up with a Jennifer Aniston look: Honey blond, darker roots, straight, layer cut. Long enough that she tells me she could set up business on the street, so she is scheduled to get it cut to a length more fitting for Gavin’s mother.
She tried to be encouraging to a mother and her daughters who were wig shopping for the mother. All was gloom and doom on their faces. Chemo had not started yet and they seemed to be in the first shock phases. I’m sure Tess’s attitude seemed bizarre, but hopefully helpful?
Visiting an Oberlin friend, she slipped into the bathroom and put it on. “Oh, migod,” exclaimed Margaret, “If I didn’t know it was you and a wig, I’d be asking what hair products you use.”
Now she has to make out an insurance claim for “cranial prosthesis.”
With baldness on the western front, she and Jamie visited the wig shop. He was a good choice. When the white cap was put on her head to hold the wig securely, they both burst out laughing calling her Penis Head. Then they got a little wild with the new look. Jamie could be both honest and adventurous with the hair and she wound up with a Jennifer Aniston look: Honey blond, darker roots, straight, layer cut. Long enough that she tells me she could set up business on the street, so she is scheduled to get it cut to a length more fitting for Gavin’s mother.
She tried to be encouraging to a mother and her daughters who were wig shopping for the mother. All was gloom and doom on their faces. Chemo had not started yet and they seemed to be in the first shock phases. I’m sure Tess’s attitude seemed bizarre, but hopefully helpful?
Visiting an Oberlin friend, she slipped into the bathroom and put it on. “Oh, migod,” exclaimed Margaret, “If I didn’t know it was you and a wig, I’d be asking what hair products you use.”
Now she has to make out an insurance claim for “cranial prosthesis.”
The Gift
I use angels like Post-it Notes. And I’m not stingy with them. If I’m assigning them to a teenage driver, I ask for four...one on each fender and maybe another on top if I’m really uneasy. House? Hundreds.
For years and years I have relied on them but always for protection. I didn’t think of them as specialized; or I didn’t conceive of the idea that specialized help might be, well, so helpful, let alone available.
Then I sat for two aloof cats in a very calm, neat, even sparse house. A large bookshelf was a veritable library on angels. Since chores took five minutes and cats were neither playful nor lap-interested, our policy of staying at least a half an hour meant that I should just “be” for a few minutes. So I sat down with a book on Getting to Know and Communicate with your Angels.
It was a black day. There’s such a deep sadness about watching your beautiful vivacious daughter face the indignities and mutilations of breast cancer. I’m a person of too much faith to worry or regret. Life 101 is a difficult course. But as a mother and especially since my thirties was a glamorous, fun, exciting time, I can’t believe my daughter must rise to such challenges so early.
So whipping through the How To’s of Angelic E-mail, I asked for two specialists. I wanted an Angel of Time and Priorities. Some celestial being who would make time abundant for me. Not just provide the time, but to help me utilize the time. When I’m down I can stare at the Foxy Pet Sitting Schedule for 5 minutes before “coming to.” The clock will magically go from 8:30 to 11:30 and the desk would still be cluttered, the laundry stacked, the flowers unwatered, the breakfast half eaten and six coffee cups scattered around the house. I really needed a Time Specialist.
Then my second request was for Joy. Send me a Celestial Specialist who was a bit on the frivolous side who would help me find happiness wherever I looked. In a dog’s puzzled face, a thirsty flower, an embedded grease spot eradicated! Close at hand, I wanted good old fashioned Joy.
Well, dear audience, the results were spectacular. Angelic Time Manager flew in and shook me like a puppet on strings. Clutter flew to their correct homes, the carpets were vacuumed, the dogs brushed, the phone calls made.......why hadn’t I used this service before? Do you really have to be desperate to qualify? Sort of a heavenly version of getting food stamps?
And Angelic Joy! She appeared like bubbles in wine. My voice lightened at least two keys. My face cracked and smiled. My chest opened and I could breathe again. And then......the best thing yet.....I got a new toy! A totally unexpected, un-asked-for, unknowable toy. By unknowable I mean I didn’t know I wanted it, hadn’t a clue until it appeared. It went down like this:
I had been watching the Thompson dog for a week. Abby is a 13-year-old lab and the whole family was on a mission trip and didn’t want to kennel her anymore, so I said she could come and stay with us. In the course of a week, she got Aunt Marlyn’s spa and vet treatment because I couldn’t stand to see her ears itch, her nails click, her coat go unbrushed, a nasty lump in her mouth ignored, etc. etc.
Jan and the Twins came to pick her up and slowly notice all the changes....this is a very loved dog. I’m trying to get the girls to help me put some music on an MP3 player that is part of a CD player. Their reaction is that my equipment and technology is badly outdated and clumsy. Jan suddenly says, I Know What She Needs! and before I know what is happening, I am being propelled out of the house, into their van by three very forceful females.......no purse, no Kleenex, no prior potty break. Off to Wal-Mart we speed where they select a wonderful MP3 with pictures and 30 G of memory and ear buds. Jo puts it on my computer and demands my music. I learn to “rip” music.....doesn’t that sound deliciously illegal or fattening? I learn about music stores on line.......that has my Jean Redpath and Bagpipes! And to Sync! Whoa!
And then to make a complete fool of myself next day walking dogs and weaving to the music in my ear buds! Time Manager really had to be on his/her toes because Joy kept leading me to “Rip” more music and learn about getting e-books from the library on line. As Gavin says, WOW.
The moral of this story is........forget about asking for courage, strength, and all the heavy virtues. We’ve been shopping in the wrong departments.......God has a TOY STORE!! Go for Cheerful Hearts!
For years and years I have relied on them but always for protection. I didn’t think of them as specialized; or I didn’t conceive of the idea that specialized help might be, well, so helpful, let alone available.
Then I sat for two aloof cats in a very calm, neat, even sparse house. A large bookshelf was a veritable library on angels. Since chores took five minutes and cats were neither playful nor lap-interested, our policy of staying at least a half an hour meant that I should just “be” for a few minutes. So I sat down with a book on Getting to Know and Communicate with your Angels.
It was a black day. There’s such a deep sadness about watching your beautiful vivacious daughter face the indignities and mutilations of breast cancer. I’m a person of too much faith to worry or regret. Life 101 is a difficult course. But as a mother and especially since my thirties was a glamorous, fun, exciting time, I can’t believe my daughter must rise to such challenges so early.
So whipping through the How To’s of Angelic E-mail, I asked for two specialists. I wanted an Angel of Time and Priorities. Some celestial being who would make time abundant for me. Not just provide the time, but to help me utilize the time. When I’m down I can stare at the Foxy Pet Sitting Schedule for 5 minutes before “coming to.” The clock will magically go from 8:30 to 11:30 and the desk would still be cluttered, the laundry stacked, the flowers unwatered, the breakfast half eaten and six coffee cups scattered around the house. I really needed a Time Specialist.
Then my second request was for Joy. Send me a Celestial Specialist who was a bit on the frivolous side who would help me find happiness wherever I looked. In a dog’s puzzled face, a thirsty flower, an embedded grease spot eradicated! Close at hand, I wanted good old fashioned Joy.
Well, dear audience, the results were spectacular. Angelic Time Manager flew in and shook me like a puppet on strings. Clutter flew to their correct homes, the carpets were vacuumed, the dogs brushed, the phone calls made.......why hadn’t I used this service before? Do you really have to be desperate to qualify? Sort of a heavenly version of getting food stamps?
And Angelic Joy! She appeared like bubbles in wine. My voice lightened at least two keys. My face cracked and smiled. My chest opened and I could breathe again. And then......the best thing yet.....I got a new toy! A totally unexpected, un-asked-for, unknowable toy. By unknowable I mean I didn’t know I wanted it, hadn’t a clue until it appeared. It went down like this:
I had been watching the Thompson dog for a week. Abby is a 13-year-old lab and the whole family was on a mission trip and didn’t want to kennel her anymore, so I said she could come and stay with us. In the course of a week, she got Aunt Marlyn’s spa and vet treatment because I couldn’t stand to see her ears itch, her nails click, her coat go unbrushed, a nasty lump in her mouth ignored, etc. etc.
Jan and the Twins came to pick her up and slowly notice all the changes....this is a very loved dog. I’m trying to get the girls to help me put some music on an MP3 player that is part of a CD player. Their reaction is that my equipment and technology is badly outdated and clumsy. Jan suddenly says, I Know What She Needs! and before I know what is happening, I am being propelled out of the house, into their van by three very forceful females.......no purse, no Kleenex, no prior potty break. Off to Wal-Mart we speed where they select a wonderful MP3 with pictures and 30 G of memory and ear buds. Jo puts it on my computer and demands my music. I learn to “rip” music.....doesn’t that sound deliciously illegal or fattening? I learn about music stores on line.......that has my Jean Redpath and Bagpipes! And to Sync! Whoa!
And then to make a complete fool of myself next day walking dogs and weaving to the music in my ear buds! Time Manager really had to be on his/her toes because Joy kept leading me to “Rip” more music and learn about getting e-books from the library on line. As Gavin says, WOW.
The moral of this story is........forget about asking for courage, strength, and all the heavy virtues. We’ve been shopping in the wrong departments.......God has a TOY STORE!! Go for Cheerful Hearts!
Drought
I’m getting the “where are you?” emails and yes, it has been difficult enough that I didn’t have the energy to keep up the Blog.
Besides Tess and TJ, WonderWoman Wanda had to have a pacemaker put in two weeks ago and they didn’t do it right and last week she had to have it redone. Two surgeries in one week knocked down even Wanda.......who is in her eighties after all. But they got the second one in securely and she is rallying. Even Sister-in-Law Robin thought I needed a boost and sent me a black dog walking cap emblazoned with MOTHER SUPERIOR. I rather liked that title.
Updates forthcoming.
Besides Tess and TJ, WonderWoman Wanda had to have a pacemaker put in two weeks ago and they didn’t do it right and last week she had to have it redone. Two surgeries in one week knocked down even Wanda.......who is in her eighties after all. But they got the second one in securely and she is rallying. Even Sister-in-Law Robin thought I needed a boost and sent me a black dog walking cap emblazoned with MOTHER SUPERIOR. I rather liked that title.
Updates forthcoming.
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